Episode 25: Kissed by FireSPOILER ALERT: This post is absolutely riddled with spoilers so if you haven't seen the episode, don't blame me.
Beyond the Wall, Orelle and Jon Snow still aren't seeing eye to eye. Everyone, including Ygritte and Tormund Giantsbane issue casual death threats to each other, some more colorfully than others and then Ygritte runs off with Hon's sword. They run into a cave close by that just happens to be paradise. It also seems to be warm apparently as they both get very naked and jump into the plunge pool underneath the waterfall after they make what seems to be very sweet love. They also speak on their sexual history. Jon Snow doesn't have one. Ygritte is smitten and never wants to leave the cave.
Littlefinger is waylaid by Cersei Lannister who comes straight to her point. She issues some not-so-idle threats while telling Littlefinger to find some dirt on the Tyrells. She feels they do not have the crowns best interests at heart.
Lady Olenna Tyrell fills Tyrion in on what exactly moves her vowels. It is figs. They speak on the royal wedding and Tyrion is wondering who the fuck is going to pay for it. It would appear that Lady Olenna is very much on top of how much the Tyrells are providing to the war. She's quite disappointed at the fact that Tyrion isn't an alcoholic whoremonger. She agrees to pay for half the wedding and leaves.
Martin and Willem Lannister, the two boys that Edmure Tully captured are killed as they sleep by Lord Karstark and his men. They called it vengeance to kill these two boys. Robb is not fucking happy. Raickard Karstark blames it on Catelyn Stark. Robb hangs the four men and sends Rickard Karstark to the dungeon. It's hard not to blame the Tully's for this one. Everyone urges caution but Robb decides that in order to administer justice, Rickard Karstark must die. And die he does in the pissing rain. He wishes his last words to haunt Robb til the end of his days. This is quite the turning point.
Arya is praying her list of names of people she wishes to die. Thoros is drunk as usual. She's not too happy. Beric Dondarrion, the dead man who is not dead enters. Thoros has brought him back to life 6 times so far. Arya wonders if they could bring back her father. She misses him.
Brienne is taking a bath when Jaime enters and strips down. She's very worried when he wants to get into the same tub but he tells her he's not interested. They continue to be nasty to each other for a while and Brienne bares all in front of Jaime before he apologizes. Jaime starts his monologue in which he explains how he came to be called Kingslayer. He says that he urged the Mad King to surrender as he didn't trust his father to fight with them. When Tywin Lannister turned traitor and sacked the city, he urged them to surrender again. The Mad King wanted to burn every single person that they could with wildfire. First he killed the pyromancer and then the King. He continued to repeat "burn them all" as he died. He almost drowns then and pleads with Brienne to call him Jaime.
Daenerys and her Unsullied are on the march. Ser Jorah and Barristan Selmy are talking of old battles. Dany speaks to the officers and seeks out the leader. It seems the Unsullied are very much on her side and totally have her back. Meanwhile, Ser Jorah is trying to figure out if Selmy knew that he had betrayed Daenerys back in the early days. They're still not entirely onside with each other completely.
Robb Stark is discussing battle tactics with his wife. The Karstarks have left his cause unsurprisingly. She urges him to go back home and retake Winterfell but he says that is not an option. He has lost half his men. Robb Stark has a bit of a brainwave. He is going to take Casterly Rock and he is going to use Walder Freys men to do it. This is the man who he broke his oath to. Surely it will end well.
Tyrion walks in to realize that he is meeting with Tywin and Cersei. She is gloating like a bitch. Littlefinger has confided in Cersei what Sansa's plan is and she in turn told Tywin. He has decided on his own plot to match the Tyrells. Tyrion is to marry Sansa. He is not at all impressed and names it cruel. Cersei is still positively beaming until Tywin turns to her and tells her she is marrying Ser Loras. Tywin is quite the evil bastard but he has come up with an incredible plan considers he has zero scruples. Tyrion will secure the north and Cersei will secure Highgarden.
Episode 26: The ClimbSPOILER ALERT: This post is absolutely riddled with spoilers so if you haven't seen the episode, don't blame me.
Osha and Meera Reed are having a little bit of a competition for who is "woman of the house." Osha is better at skinning rabbits and Meera can kill them. Bran plays the little lord and attempts to broker a peace agreement between them. It's still not working but Jojen is having some form of a fit while having one of his visions. It doesn't bode well for Bran in the future. He saw Jon Snow but he was north of the Wall surrounded by enemies.
We go to Jon. They're getting ready to climb the Wall. Ygritte is very excited to see the world from the top of the Wall. They talk about the previous cunnilingus administered to Ygritte the other day. She knows that he hasn't just suddenly turned into a Wildling but she's ok with that as long as he is loyal to her. He promised to never betray her because she will cut his cock off.
Outside Gendry is talking to Anguy about making a weapons when Melisandre arrives and they allow her to take Gendry away. For their troubles they receive two bags of gold. Arya is not fucking happy and neither is Gendry. He feels betrayed. Arya gives Melisandre a piece of her mind and Melisandre says they will meet again in a scary little sequence. Arya is alone again.
The climb has begun. Jon Snow is at the rear on the same rope as Tormund Giantsbane, Orelle, and Ygritte. They have their first scary moment and move on in good form.
Robb Stark meets with two of Walder Frey's sons. He is demanding an apology, Harrenhal, and for Edmure Tully to marry one of his daughters. Edmure is completely against the idea but Robb and Blackfish compel him to to make amends for the stonemill fiasco. He is paying for Robb's sins.
Roose Bolton is hosting Brienne and Jaime for dinner. Brienne is wearing a dress. Bolton is trying to decide what to do with Jaime. He will send him to King's Landing as restitution for his maiming. Brienne will not go with him however. Neither are happy about it.
The climb is still taking place on the Wall in a blizzard. A massive crack appears and it is terrifying. a huge chunk of wall falls off and Ygritte and Jon are dangling. Orelle starts to cut them loose but Jon manages to swing to relative safety and pull Ygritte up to a ledge. They take a couple of seconds to embrace after their brush with death and continue. Orelle is not happy.
Sansa is in her bedchamber talking to Shae. She still thinks she is marrying Ser Loras until Tyrion enters. This is very awkward for him as he is in love with Shae but has to tell Sansa that he will be marrying her. Neither of them know anything yet.
Back on the Wall, Ygritte has just made the top and Jon Snow follows after. They are bollocksed. Orelle looks on angrily. After a few moments Ygritte looks across the world she has lived in all of her life and Jon Snow shows her the one she has never seen on the other side. They kiss in what could be misconstrued as a happy ending. It is not.
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