Fast forward to this year, following more than a year in America and I feel almost ashamed of myself. A couple of days ago I purchased a remotely controlled device that would allow me to turn the outside Christmas lights on and off without having to leave the comfort of the house. The thought of putting on shoes, running out the back door and around to the front of the house, pulling out two plugs, and running back inside filled me with a crippling lethargy that drove me to go out and spend $15 on a clicker. My entire outdoor distance to cover adds up to 28 total yards and would take approximately 11 seconds. There would be no long walk to the yard, no gates to climb and certainly no full arm inside a cow - and I still couldn't do it. I took the easy way because it was available to me
Thankfully I have never used any of these services except, on occasion, for fast food, and even then I increasingly find myself parking and going inside. There is a simple reason for this. It is faster. There is usually a long queue for the drive-thru and nobody inside. I had assumed that the reason for drive-thrus was because they were faster and easier but apparently it's a laziness thing.
And I most definitely prefer having my right arm submerged in an over-sized bag of potato chips than the womb of an obstreperous heifer. Even if that means having to refer to them as potato chips.