|They're waffley versatile...|
The first thing is to locate the Irish bars and the second is the Irish food. I found Kiki's Kwik Mart in Brighton fed my Mi Wadi, Hob Nobs, and Hula Hoops addiction. It took me a full six months here before I craved a Full Irish breakfast to such a point that my arteries were having little-to-no trouble transporting my blood and my arterial walls no longer resembled a forgotten-about grease tray from a George Foreman. I began to research. Boston being a reasonably small city with a sizable Irish population, I knew of a number of places to check.
|Not Irish but not bad|
My breakfast did not come with waffles but I was a greedy bastard and so pleaded with the waitress to allow me to trade fried potatoes for a couple of rectangular, potatoey tennis rackets sent to America by God himself. The waitress consented and I experienced my first stomach-erection since I realised you could suck tea through a Cadbury's finger if you bit off the two ends. The fifteen minute wait for the breakfasts to arrive was more agonizing than waiting at one end of the Community Centre as your friend approached a girl at the other end and asked if she would shift you.
We sat in stony silence. Neither knew how to react to our current predicament. We had never experienced this as a couple before. I decided that there was only one way to work past this. I wanted to grab the waitress by the throat and stuff her mouth full of potato cakes but I dealt with it the same way people have worked past their problems since the beginning of time. I ate. I absolutely inhaled my breakfast (all of which was delicious and the real deal, by the way - bar the "waffles") and between mouthfuls I offered my condolences to a still tender Christina.
The search for the elusive waffles continues without much success. We move forward with a greater resolve, with hope in our hearts and a longing in our stomachs for the fluffy-yet-crispy heaven-crafted-but-toaster-made grid of potatoey goodness. We can find everything else (at a price) but waffles have so far proven to be the Kony of the search. The quest continues.
*For those of you still wondering, Mi Wadi is the other thing I cannot find a substitute for. Tea would be one but we have a life-time supply here in the house and, as such, have no need for a substitute.